Okay, the mood swings are definitely in, well, full swing. Today I was unreasonably angry at my cat who wouldn't stop yelling to be let out, euphoric that I found this thing I've been searching for for days, yelling at a jerk who nearly cut me off in traffic, then laughing so hard at a comedian on TV that tears were running down my face and I couldn't catch my breath.
And I have days when I'm so anxious and worried I'm not sure how to deal with it. Before I was pregnant, I imagined that pregnancy would be 9 months of intense physical discomfort, but that emotionally you'd be spending your time happy and daydreaming about baby and your new life.
Instead, some days I can't turn off the worry in my head. Am I eating enough? Am I eating too much? Am I getting enough sleep? Am I getting enough exercise? What if I'm a terrible mother? How am I going to handle baby and working and housework and looking after hubby all at the same time? Is there going to be enough money to pay for everything? How long will it take me to shed all these extra pounds when baby is born? Will hubby ever find me attractive again? What if I'm a terrible mother? How am I ever going to get baby to eat vegetables when Daddy still refuses to? What if baby gets my food allergies? Did I hurt baby when I passed out at Ikea? WHAT IF I'M A TERRIBLE MOTHER????
At least I don't do this every day. Just once in awhile I get a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones and I can't stop worrying and sad songs on the radio make me cry and the people at work piss me off, and I just can't seem to get my emotions under control. But then it passes, and I'm back to my usual cheerful self, and my self-confidence comes back and I know that I will be a good mother, and I will find a way to make everything work, because I always do.
Does this happen to other pregnant ladies, or just me?