Goodbye Santana and Kaydance

I can't stop thinking about them, those two little girls from the Yellow Quill Reserve in Saskatchewan. They died on Tuesday night, outside in the bitter, bitter cold, wearing nothing but diapers and t-shirts, trying to follow their father.

One-year-old Santana and three-year-old Kaydance were following their drunk father to a neighbours house. They didn't have jackets. They didn't have mittens. They didn't even have pants or socks or shoes. They were outside, the wind chill dipping the temperature down to -50 C, trying to follow daddy.

And I can't stop crying. Because all I can think about are these two little girls, wandering around outside in the cold, first whimpering, then crying, then screaming, asking daddy to come and help them. And then I can see daddy getting further and further away, not turning around, not paying any attention to his babies, and the girls getting colder and colder. It would take only two or three minutes in those temperatures before those girls wouldn't be able to walk anymore. So they probably sat down in the snow, not able to move, not able to talk, not able to do anything but watch daddy walk away. They were probably terrified.

They died terrified, in horrific pain, all alone, in the bitter cold and the dark of night.

And all I can do is cry.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080130/national/wea_girls_frozen

Proper Pronunciation

Gracie's been starting to talk a lot more lately. Lots of times, she's just repeating what I'm saying and she never says it again. But sometimes it sticks, and she says it often. And sometimes, it's not really a whole word, but the first syllable or two.

For instance, when she is hungry and wants her bottle, she'll give me the sign language I taught her for milk and say: BOT! She's said that so much lately that her father and I both have started calling it BOT! too. But you can't fool her. She knows the word is bottle…

Me, yesterday afternoon: "Are you hungry? Would you like a BOT?"

Gracie, looking me right in the face, very seriously: "BOT-L mum! BOT-L!"

Thoughts for the Day…

1. Putting snow boots on a toddler is not for the faint of heart. It requires relentless perseverance, and should be attempted about 20 minutes before you need to leave the house. Trust me.

2. If you call Shaw Cable at 10:30 p.m. for assistance with uploading the temporary website you only spent five minutes creating because you have no idea what you are doing, the guy on the other end will actually be very nice. And you don't have to wait on hold for two hours before talking to real people either; the phone rang three times and then I actually got to speak to a real person! I'm going to start calling help lines at 10:30 p.m. from now on…

3. Working from home is GREAT! I spend my days with sweet Gracie, and my evenings in front of my Mac designing pretty ads and fancy-schmancy new logos. It's hard, but I think I made the right decision -- going back to work at the newspaper wouldn't have worked for me.

4. The Gracie Giggle is the world's sweetest sound. And the older she gets, the more I get to hear it.

Maybe I should stop checking my Sitemeter…

To all those who are here because you Googled "Pillsbury Gingerbread Cookie Dough", I'm very sorry. The only info you will get is my crazy ramblings about how much I love it.

I've written about lots of other things here at denice-isms but my traffic has gone up three-fold since I wrote those two posts, mostly because when you Google Pillsbury Gingerbread Cookie Dough, I'm like the third entry that comes up.

I'm trying hard not to think about what that means: like perhaps I should be worried that out of all the things I've done in my life, my love of Pillsbury Gingerbread Cookies is what I am now most known for.

But instead, I am just going to be flattered that I am known for anything at all, and invite all of you who arrived here by mistake to stay and read awhile. :)

Is there a Vogue for workout wear?

Clearly, I am not gym chic.

I went to the gym tonight, like all the other New Year's Resolutioners in Airdrie, to use the treadmill. It was 9 p.m. and the place was packed to the rafters. And every single one of them was dressed in a fancy-schmancy new workout outfit. Every single one of them! Apparently, when you make a New Year's Resolution to get in shape, you also must purchase fancy new workout clothes to make it a done deal.

I did not do this. I put on my favorite comfy yoga pants and a slightly baggy t-shirt, so as not to show my, um, less than perfect physique, and headed off the to gym. I knew I didn't exactly look great, but I figured there would be a couple more people like me there.

Nope. Not one. Just rows and rows of brand new lycra and co-ordinating water bottles. Oh well. Perhaps in a few weeks all those new outfits will be staying home and me and my baggy sweats will fit in just fine.

Best Christmas Ever!

I have the bestest hubby in the whole country. No, the whole world. No, the whole universe.
Because my sweet, wonderful hubby got me one of these wonderful things for Christmas!



It's an iPod Touch, and I can't stop using it. I find it to be especially helpful when Gracie is so tired that she nearly falls asleep while eating her supper, but when put in her bed just cries and cries and cries until she finally falls asleep. Drowns out that crying real nice, and helps to keep Mommy sane!

Tomorrow, we'll see how much Gracie likes riding in Mommy's jogging stroller while Mommy ignores her because she's listening to her iPod!

Hope everybody had a wonderful Christmas!

One small step for Gracie…

Gracie walked! We have a walking girl! She left the safety of the coffee table and walked four steps over to get me, four times in a row!

Actually, "walked" isn't exactly the right word. It was more like running and then diving when she got near me. But she was doing it unassisted, and so I remain steadfast in my excitement over this new development.

Do I have a picture to post? Um, no. But I will, just as soon as I can get her to do it while someone else is in the room. What a wonderful, wonderful Christmas.

Merry Christmas everybody! Hope you have a wonderful day too.

I can do it MYSELF!

I've been up to my eyeballs these past couple of weeks. Up to my eyeballs in design work, Christmas shopping, Christmas wrapping and laundry. Oh, the never-ending laundry.

But I had to take a couple minutes to tell you about yesterday, which I am now calling "Gracie's Super-Duper I Can Do It MYSELF Day!!!"

Usually, Gracie is quite happy to let Mommy do everything for her. Insistent, in fact. But yesterday, she decided that lots of things that Mommy does were things she could do all by herself thank you very much, and she just took over.

When we had our morning bottle, she held it all by herself. When it was breakfast time she wanted to eat all by herself, so I just put all the stuff I was going to feed her on her little highchair tray and let her have at it.

Later, we were doing some walking around (still assisted by me, but we're down to holding onto just one of my hands!) and she decided she needed a soother. So she walked me over to the little box on the coffee table where I keep them, grabbed the box, turned it over so all the soothers fell out, grabbed one and stuck it right in her mouth à la Maggie Simpson, then kept on motoring…

Then, when it was bathtime, she grabbed the wash cloth I was using to wash her and rubbed it up and down her tummy and washed herself! And after the bath, when I was brushing her hair, she grabbed the brush and started brushing her very own hair. It was so adorable I thought I might cry.

So here she is, 10 months old and already wanting to do things herself. I can't decide if this is a very, very good thing, or a very, very bad thing…

P.S. I'm not going to tell you how much she's been sleeping at night lately, because:
a. Every time I write about how well she's sleeping I jinx it, and
b. When you guys find out, you'll all come to my house and kill me in a fit of jealousy.
Let's just say I'm getting lots of work done at night and I still get to sleep in a bit in the morning. But I'm pretty sure this wonderful sleeping schedule will go all to hell when we start our Christmas traveling on Friday, so I'm enjoying it while I can. Maybe I'll go to Blockbuster tonight and rent The Simpsons Movie and hubby and I will have one quiet night together before Christmas…

If I don't make it back here to cyberspace before then, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!!!

No more gingerbread cookies for me

So, I was starting to feel pretty good about myself, body image-wise. (Which is totally new for me, but that's an entirely different post).

Anyway, I was feeling pretty good about myself, because after months of eating right and exercising, I'm now just 5 pounds away from reaching my pre-pregnancy weight. Which admittedly isn't saying much, since I needed to lose 10 pounds when I got pregnant, but losing 20 pounds is losing 20 pounds, whether you still have 15 more to go or not. I can fit back into a lot of my old clothes again, and I was actually starting to not hate the sight of myself in my mirror.

Life was good. I was happy.

And then my next door neighbour dropped by for coffee.
AND ASKED ME IF I WAS EXPECTING AGAIN!

Now to be fair, I was planning to exercise during Gracie's nap so I had just put on a fairly form-fitting yoga outfit which does a very good job of accentuating my huge spare tire. And she back-pedalled really quickly when my reply was "Nope. Just still fat." by saying that it was just that I was Looking So Good Lately that the round tummy looked out of place. Hurrumpf.

Guess I gotta lay off the Gingerbread Cookies.
Merry Christmas. Bah Humbug.

I FOUND IT!

Okay, you can all stop panicking. (Because I know you were all very worried about my lack of Pillsbury Gingerbread Cookie Dough, despite the busy lives you lead). I now have the cookie dough downstairs in my fridge, and as soon as I'm done writing this, I will be filling up my cookie jar with it's yummy goodness.

And it's all because of you, wonderful, wonderful Tracy! I figured if you found some way up there in Yellowknife, it had to be here in Airdrie by now -- and there it was, all yummy and waiting for me at the Real Canadian Superstore.

So, as my sorta, kinda holiday gift to you, I'm going to let you all in on a little secret, just in case my rambling about this the Pillsbury Gingerbread Cookie dough has made you a little curious and you also have a tube of the yummy stuff in your fridge. What you do is follow the directions they give you for making Ginger Snaps, except that instead of baking them for 12 to 14 minutes like they say, bake them for more like 8 to 10 minutes (depending on your stove), and they will come out all chewy and soft and melt-in-your-mouth yummy!

Now, since I dieted and dieted and dieted until I can now finally get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes, I am going downstairs to bake me a bunch of cookies and blow my diet all to hell.

Merry Christmas!!!!

P.S. I do actually know how to bake cookies from scratch -- I make chocolate chip cookies for Nate all the time. Just so you know I'm not super lazy or anything. I just really like that dough!

Oh where oh where have the gingerbread cookies gone…

I'm starting to get worried. I can't find the Pillsbury Gingerbread Cookie Dough anywhere.

Every Christmas, Pillsbury puts out tubes of Sugar cookie dough, which is alright if you like sugar cookies, but I don't; and Gingerbread cookie dough, which is the most wonderfully yummy delight you will ever have the privilege to digest. I look forward to that dough, well, like a kid looks forward to Christmas. And when it finally arrives, I buy like, 20 tubes of cookie dough and store them in my freezer so I can have them all year long. Of course, I've usually eaten them all by July…

I love these cookies so much that this time last year, even though we had already decided that Gracie's name would be Gracie, I was seriously considering talking Nate into calling her Ginger instead. I thought it was a really unique old-fashioned name that no one else in her class would have -- and just think of all the fun we would have making "her" Gingerbread cookies! Those would be good memories people!

Anyway, they have had the sugar cookie dough in stores for quite some time now, but the Gingerbread cookies are nowhere to be found. And I was really, really looking forward to those cookies! This year, I was, um, home a little more often than usual, what with being on maternity leave and all, and I kinda ate my whole stockpile of gingerbread cookies by March.

So somebody, please tell me you've seen them in YOUR grocery store and I just have to patient. It's just not Christmas without those cookies!

I'm a big girl now…

So, we've hit a major milestone in the life of Gracie. On Sunday I decided to throw caution to the wind and turn her car seat around to forward facing, even though she is only 9 months old. I decided that since my car seat instructions said you could turn the kid around when she reaches 22 pounds and Gracie is now 24 pounds and wearing 12-18 months (and sometimes 1T!) sized clothing, that I would ignore the dire warnings from the health nurses that she must be 1 year old before she can sit forwards or the world will come to an end.

You see, I drive a 1996 Ford Taurus; and I don't know how many of you have been in the back seat of a 1996 Ford Taurus (or what you were doing there), but if you have, you will have noticed that the seats and the back window are very, very sloped. So no matter what position I put that car seat in, the only thing poor Gracie got to look at was the roof and the sky.

She also hated not being able to see me, and I don't think she understood where I went while she was all alone in the back seat. It got so that I just put her in the seat and listened to the crying all the way to wherever we were going, because if I talked to her, I just made it worse. It was like she was saying: "Well if you're in here, why don't you come and get me? Where the hell are you?????"

So I turned it around, one-year-old rule be damned. I figure she's as big as most one-year-olds right now, so why on earth am I waiting for a magic number?

And boy does she love it! Yesterday I took her to the grocery store, and I wish you could have seen it. It was the best car ride I have ever had with her. She just grinned, and grinned and grinned. She could finally see Mommy. She could finally figure out where I was. She kept saying "Hi!" so that I would turn around and say hi back, and then she laughed her little head off. And she even waved to the people in the car sitting next to us at the red light.

I think I made the right decision.

BEST DAY EVER!

I just had the best day ever!

It started this morning with my first-ever day at the spa, which was a birthday present from my very sweet mother-in-law. I got a one-hour massage, a pedicure and a facial while Nate's mom babysat Gracie. Oh my, oh my, it was heaven. I fell asleep during the massage, it was so damn relaxing. My feet have never looked this good, ever. (Except for maybe when I was a baby and had those cute little baby feet.) And the facial was a little weird, but my skin sure feels nice now!

Then we needed a few things, so Gracie and I went and did a little shopping, and we had the best time! We were walking down an aisle of Christmas things, and there was this funny Santa on the shelf that she was reaching for so we went over to take a look. Turns out, when you turn it on, he shakes his little tush to that techno-dance song that goes: "I like to move it move it." Well, Gracie thought that was the funniest thing she had ever seen. She laughed and laughed and laughed! I've never seen her laugh so hard before, and so of course it made me laugh. Pretty soon people were coming from aisles over to see what was so funny - and I got to play the proud mommy who had everyone in the store admiring her little cutiepie.

But wait -- there's more!

When we got home and I was giving Gracie her bath, she started talking to me. Not real talking of course, because the only words she has are "Mumumumum" and "Dadadadad". But she was looking me right in the face and talking up a storm, almost like she was telling me all the fun things she had done today while I was gone. She's never done that before. In fact, until about two weeks ago, she didn't talk much at all. She would play without hardly saying a word, with a cute little grin on her face if she was happy, or a look of serious concentration if she was trying to figure something out. The only time she really said much of anything was when she was upset, so it was more like whining and crying as opposed to baby babbling. Then about two weeks ago she started kind of baby babbling and talking while she played, and it's been so much fun! But tonight; tonight was special. Instead of babbling at the toy she was playing with, she was babbling to me. She was telling me something, and it was important to her. I just wish I knew what she was saying…

But wait -- there's more!

Nate decided we should have pizza for supper, so we ordered in and I didn't have to cook. Then Gracie just skipped her second nap of the day and went to bed 2 hours earlier than usual, so I actually got to be a lazy coach potato and watch Grey's Anatomy.

Then, look! I had time to write a blog post! That almost never happens anymore!

Now, I'm going to bed and it's only midnight!
What a wonderful, wonderful day.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's back to work I go…

So I'm kinda sorta back to work now, and life has gotten very chaotic. Gracie still doesn't play well by herself for very long, so I have to do most of my graphic design work while she naps and after she goes to bed at night -- which means every spare moment that I used to have to myself is now spent working.

Which means I have just enough time to read everybody else's blog, but not much time to write my own.

But I've got a fancy-schmancy new toy to play with! My very generous inlaws gave us a new JVC Everio video camera, and as soon as I figure out how to do it, I'm gonna post a short video clip of my little cutie pie for all of you to see.

Just as soon as I get this Volleyball Provincial Playoffs program done. And do some laundry. And mop my kitchen floor, 'cause I spilled something sticky on it three days ago and still haven't found the time to mop it up.

But then I'm posting a video. I promise!

If you give a kid a cookie…

I'm a terrible, horrible, awful mother. Yesterday, I did the unthinkable.

I fed my 8-month-old a Mint Oreo Cookie, and I'm not sorry I did it.

What led me to this madness? What terrible events could have occurred for me to do such a dastardly thing? Lack of sleep my friends. Extreme lack of sleep.

You see, Gracie was a little out of whack, sleeping-wise. It started about two weeks ago when she got a bit of a cold. She kept waking up in the night either with a coughing fit or because her poor little head was all plugged up and she couldn't breathe. If she was tired enough, we would rock in the rocking chair until she fell asleep again. But mostly, once she was awake there was no going back to sleep, no matter how hard I tried. So we would be up for a couple hours in the middle of the night until she could sleep again; and then she would need a big nap the next day.

Pretty soon, the daytime naps were getting longer and the night-time waking up time was getting longer too, until we got to the point where she was sleeping most of the day away, then waking up in the evening and not going to bed until 2 a.m., then waking up again at 6 a.m. And Denice was starting to get grumpy. I have a really hard time taking naps in the daytime because, well, I have things to do. And living on four hours of sleep just wasn't doing it for me.

By Sunday, I was at the end of my rope. I needed some sleep. I decided since Gracie was over her cold, I was going to keep her awake for most of the day. And as I was sitting next to her on the floor, eating a couple of Mint Oreo Cookies for a little sugar rush to keep me awake, a little thought quietly ran through my head: "If these cookies are keeping ME awake…"

I pulled another Oreo out of the package, took one of the cookie pieces off and hesitated for a moment as I contemplated if this really was a good idea, or if it was my sleep deprived brain trying to convince me it was a good idea -- and Gracie made the decision for me. She grabbed the cookie right out of my hand and stuffed it directly into her mouth. Well, mostly she just sucked on the icing because she doesn't have any teeth yet, but you get the idea.

So I let my Gracie have sugar for the first time, and boy did it work! She stayed awake most of the day, went to bed at the very reasonable hour of 10 p.m., and slept straight through until 8:30 a.m., just like she used to do.

And I'm not sorry. Incredibly guilt-ridden for feeding my child junk at such a young age -- you betcha. But sorry? Can't say that I am.

Snotty Kleenexes everywhere…

So tired. So very tired. Gracie sick, not sleeping. Mommy not sleeping either. No time to shower, let alone blog. Was I this tired when she was brand new and not sleeping? I don't remember -- so I guess I just answered my own question. Must sleep now. Will write later.

The sweetest word in the English language:

"Mum…Mum…Mum…Mum…," said quietly by your 8-month-old while she's snuggling into your arms as she drifts off to sleep.

Oh, I had the best afternoon with Gracie today. She was grumpy this morning, so I managed to get her to take her afternoon nap early, and she woke up in the best mood!

She giggled and she smiled and she played with me for hours. I gave her a soda cracker for a snack and she took one bite, then shoved it in my mouth so I could have a bite, then a bite for her and a bite for me until it was all gone. We've been working on kisses lately -- usually I ask her if I can have one and then she gives me one, but today she gave me many slobbery baby kisses without being asked. And then she snuggled in when it was time for sleep and just kept saying mum…mum…mum… until she was sound asleep in my arms.

Boy do I love my life. Crazy busy and tiring, yes, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

It's going by so fast…

So I'm shopping at the Real Canadian Superstore the other day, and it was totally New Baby Central. Everywhere I looked, bleary-eyed new mommies were wandering sleepily around the grocery store, and, as usual, I was trying to sneak a peek at all the teeny weeny babies sleeping in their infant seats. Not because I'm nosy, but because I just can't resist a teeny tiny baby.

Anyway, I'm looking at all these new mommies and I realized something very big: I'm no longer a member of the Bleary-Eyed New Mommy Club. My kid is big. Huge. Sitting up in the front of the shopping cart, eating the Gerber Graduates I'm doling out and trying to grab everything I take off the shelf so she can see what it is, then chew on it.

These days, unless she's having a particularly bad teething day and won't go to sleep, the only reason for me to be bleary-eyed is that I decided to stay up to watch the Colbert Report, which doesn't come on until 12:30 a.m. in our part of the country. I'm very well rested, most days I get to have a shower and put on make-up, and I hardly ever have to leave the house in a shirt that's been spit-up on.

And I didn't even notice it happening.

When Gracie was new, other new mommies and I would give each other the look as we passed each other. You know, the look that said, "I don't know you, but I understand that you are as tired as I am and I feel your pain." Then I would look at the mommies with big babies and think that that day was a lifetime away. Good Lord, it only took 8 months.

Where did the time go? And more importantly, is every year going to go by this fast?

How to scare the crap out of your husband…

So, I'm rocking Gracie to sleep in our rocking chair in the living room, singing my song of choice, "You are my Sunshine." I usually just sing the first verse of the song a few times and skip the second one, since it's really rather depressing, and then once I'm sick of singing that one over and over I just start humming.

Anyway, I'm rocking and I'm singing, and I notice that over yonder on the couch, hubby is also starting to get some droopy eyes. So I decide to change the lyrics a little bit, just to be funny. So my next time around the same verse, I start singing: "You're my two sunshines, my only sunshines. You both make me happy, when skies are grey…"

"WHAT????" Says hubby, now sitting straight up on the couch, no longer sleepy at all.

"What do you mean, what?" I say, clearly not understanding what's wrong.

"What do you mean BOTH?" He says, getting a little bit panicky now.

"Gracie and you. I thought you were looking a little sleepy over there."

"Oh thank god! I thought you were pregnant again!"

Best Thing Ever!

Wanna see the smiling-est baby that ever there was? Come on over to my house, and see the incredible transformation of the baby who last week wouldn't stop crying, and today won't stop smiling!

Yesterday we went to pick up the walker my hubby's parents bought us, and I tell you it's the best thing that ever happened to Gracie. My baby, who has never been a very smiley child, is now grinning ear to ear. I plunk her in that thing and she follows me wherever I go, grinning her big gummy grin and saying: "Mamamamamamama!"

Also fun: squealing with delight when she spots one of our cats, then chasing after them (and pretty fast!) until the kitty in question finds some place to go that the walker can't. Poor cats didn't know what hit them.

It's days like this I wish I had a digital camera so I could show you all the pure bliss on Gracie's face.

Boy, what a difference a day makes.