Um, my dog ate my blog…

So, did you ever have an entire two months where life just was so busy you didn't have time for anything extra? Like, say, writing your blog? Even though writing your blog is one of your very favorite things to do?

I'm sorry I've been gone for so long everybody. Life just got super crazy. First we got the plague. (Oh My God were we ever sick!) Then I decided that perhaps these extra post-pregnancy pounds really weren't going to magically disappear on their own, and I started exercising while Gracie naps -- which is when I used to blog. Then, we sold our newspaper and promptly bought two new-to-us vehicles, which takes up more of your time than you might think…

So, I'm five pounds thinner and in much better shape, and I now drive a 2005 Jeep Liberty (which I LOVE!!!!) - but other than that I guess I have nothing to show for my more than two-month blogging break.

If I post some cute pictures of Gracie tomorrow, will that make everything better?

Day 26

Goodbye crib, which was getting waaaay too small for me…


…Hello big girl bed, which gives me lots of room to stretch out!

Day 25

We got a sandbox for our back yard this week, and I think Gracie's in heaven. Playing in the sand outside in the sunshine, taking a break to eat some fresh peas -- how could the summer get any better?

Day 24

Gracie and her cousins went to Heritage Park last week. I tried to get a good photo, but nobody would pose for me and, well, it was absolutely baking outside and the little darlings were a wee bit cranky. This photo was taken in the train that goes around the park, which was actually a big hit.

Day 23

Look! Mommy bought me crayons! They're fat and triangular and fit in my little hand just perfectly. And thank goodness they're washable, because I also figured out that you CAN use them to write on anything you want, even though Mommy said they were just for paper!

Day 22

Look how great my peas are growing! I think we will be able to eat them in a few days. I've never grown peas before - I'm so excited!

Day 21

mmmmmm…spaghetti!

Day 20

I love these shoes. Love, Love, LOVE them. They are cute and red and the most comfortable things I've ever put on my feet. And so I wear them a lot. Like, so often that the 3-year-old from two doors down has noticed.

"Why you wear dose shoes always?" he asked me the other day. "I don't ALWAYS wear them," I stammered. "Ya you do!" he yelled. "Well, they're my favorites and so I like to wear them a lot…" I tried to explain. (And later, I wondered why I was trying to justify myself to the neighbour's 3-year-old; but that's another post). "Um, okay…" said the 3-year-old.

The bottom line is: I'm 34 years old and I really like these shoes and I can wear them every day if I want to. :)

Day 20

Five years ago today, we said "I Do." And what a wonderful five years it's been.
(I guess I'm cheating a little bit. This picture was taken on July 26, 2003.)

Day 19

I call this one, "Hey Daddy…What's that?"

Day 18

Isn't this picture amazing? Nate took it this afternoon while Gracie and I were in the back yard finger painting and blowing bubbles.

Day 17

Gracie loves rice. Plain, flavored, she doesn't care. Give her a fork and she'll shovel it in. Tonight, when she heard the noise the rice cooker makes when it's done, she immediately ran for her step stool and stood in front of it at the counter, pointing and yelling. When I finally came into the kitchen she gesticulated wildly at the rice cooker, rubbed her tummy very enthusiastically (her sign that she's hungry), then got off her stool and tried to climb into her high chair. I wasn't sure what time Nate would be home for supper, so I thought it wouldn't hurt if I fed her early.

By the time Nate got home she had already polished off a big bowl of rice and pork chops, so I let her out of her chair to run around while we ate supper. Well, she headed straight for her bookshelf, brought her Daddy her favorite book and installed herself on his lap. Daddy started reading, and the next thing he knew, Gracie had his fork and was eating his rice. I got him another fork :)

Day 16

This is Gracie's bathroom step stool that came with her potty seat. I keep it in the bathroom for her so she can wash her hands after she goes to the bathroom. But yesterday, while she was using it to wash her hands, she got this look on her face, and if she was a cartoon, a light bulb would have turned on over her head. "I can use this ANYWHERE!", she would have said if she could actually talk.

She picked up the stool, ran into the kitchen with it, and immediately climbed up to the kitchen counter. Then she moved it over to the other counter in front of the dishwasher, and grabbed her soother with a great big grin. Unfortunately, my picture missed the big grin.

Day 15

Have you heard about this cookbook yet? Every recipe in this book has some sort of pureed vegetable in it, so that if your children are refusing to eat their veggies, you can hide them in their favorite recipes like chicken nuggets and grilled cheese sandwiches. There was a huge debate when it came out - while some parents went YAY!!!, many other parents thought hiding veggies in their entrees was giving in to your picky children, and failing to teach them about proper nutrition.

Personally, I see it as good way to get a little extra nutrition in the recipes that maybe aren't so great for you. Especially in the dessert recipes.

So…I've been trying lots of recipes from this book lately, and pictured in the jar are the very yummy donuts - although I didn't have a donut mold to bake them in so I just baked them in my mini-muffin tin and made my own "Timbits" instead. They're made from pureed pumpkin, and are just about the yummiest things I've ever put in my mouth. (You also have to try the chocolate pudding made from pureed avocado. Heavenly!)

Day 14

This is both a cute picture and a thank you to Jody Spark and family for the lovely present, because Gracie LOVES this puzzle. When she was really little, I would bring the puzzle out, point to each letter and tell her that it spells Gracie. She would just give me this weird look, grab the puzzle pieces and play.

Now whenever I bring out the puzzle, before she flips it over to play with it, she points to each letter and makes me spell it out, and when I'm done she very enthusiastically points to herself with a great big smile.

Day 13

Poor Gracie had a nasty fall at the park. She was running and tripped over her own feet and landed on her head, right on the birthmark on her forehead, which makes it look worse than it actually is.

Day 12

This is Puppy, one of Gracie's beloved stuffed animals. It's not a very good picture, but the other night, Puppy needed surgery. The seam on his back was coming apart and he is now missing an ear. I had kept track of the ear until I had time to do the surgery, but when it was time to wheel him to the O.R., the ear was nowhere to be found. So I stitched him up the best I could, and the next morning I showed Puppy to Gracie and I asked her if she knew where his ear went. She put her two palms up in the air like "I don't know!" and started looking. I got distracted and headed to the kitchen to start making breakfast, and a few minutes later, Gracie came running to the kitchen with it in her hand. Her father and I looked EVERYWHERE for that ear the night before. I have absolutely no idea where she was hiding it.

Day 11

MMMMMMMM…my very first bite of corn on the cob!

Day 10

It was a rainy, thunder and lightning kind of day today; a day that mommy thought was perfectly suited to inside play. Gracie, for the most part, agreed. She puttered around and played happily all day -- until she found her sidewalk chalk. And after explaining that it was pouring down rain outside and that sidewalk chalk was most definitely an OUTSIDE TOY, it suddenly occurred to mommy that there was a chalk board upstairs.

Nate built Gracie a wonderful toy box that has her named engraved on the lid, and for the outsides, he found chalkboard spray and made her two chalk boards. So, I handed our girl some chalk and let her draw on the furniture. She had a ball!

Day 9

Sorry I've been so lax at my picture taking lately. First, I had to work at the City View and remember how to be a workaholic again, so I just didn't have time to take any pictures -- or have anything interesting to take a picture of, really. Then, when Gracie got home from Grandma & Grandpa's, she was pretty much attached to me for a few days. Which was nice, 'cause I missed her so much I can't even describe it, but made it hard to take a picture -- how do you hold a camera when you are also holding a 30-pound toddler who is refusing to be put down? And the 30-pound toddler is also usually your inspiration for the picture?

Then, just as I was starting to be able to put her down again, she got the stomach flu and spent three days throwing up on pretty much every available surface in our house. The poor kid was so miserable she just wanted to sit on my lap and be read to or watch some videos. Every time she would throw up I would sit her on the couch when she was finished so I could clean it up, and the poor thing would cry giant crocodile tears until I was finished and could come and cuddle with her again. So…again, not exactly easy to take a photo. And what to take a photo of, exactly?

Well, this morning she was on the mend and willing to sit on the couch by herself, so I snapped this picture. She was watching her very favorite movie, 101 Dalmations.

Day 8

So, what do you think of my Canada Day cake? I made it a day late, but I decided "who cares?" I've been working at our newspaper the last few days, 'cause the guy who has my old job needed a vacation. Gracie has been staying with my parents and since they were bringing her home today, I thought I would make the cake for everyone to enjoy when they got here. If you want to make one, the recipe is at www.kraftcanada.com. It's WAAAAYYY easier than it looks!

Day 7

So, have I mentioned how much I love popcorn? And how much I love the sweet man who gave me this popcorn machine? Nate gave me this popcorn machine for Christmas, and it has been used nearly every night since. You buy these packages with the oil and the popcorn and the seasoning all in one, and you get popcorn that tastes EXACTLY LIKE MOVIE THEATRE POPCORN. I'm in heaven I tell you. Heaven!

Day 6

Gracie started doing this a few days ago. I take the tray away from the high chair and go to get something to wipe off her face and hands, and when I turn around, she's got her feet up in the air like she's auditioning for Cirque du Soleil.

Day 5

We live in a townhouse complex that is filled to the brim with young children. There are several buildings, each with 7 units, and they are built around a big U with a lawn in the middle. In our building of seven units alone, one family has six kids, one family has four kids, and another has three.

And if you take a drive around our big cul-de-sac you might think you've travelled back in time, because not one of those kids is sitting inside watching TV or playing video games. They are all outside playing with one another. Different ages, different families, different genders. Doesn't seem to matter to them: they just play. In the winter they make snowmen and snow angels and snow forts. In the summer they draw pictures with sidewalk chalk and have bike races down the sidewalk. Don't have a bike? That's okay, you can borrow mine. They share their toys, they take turns nicely -- I hardly ever hear them fight. I think it's the nicest part of living where we do.

When Gracie was small, she desperately wanted to go outside and play with those big kids. She would stand at the front door and watch them. And after awhile, those big kids started to notice her watching, and would come and make funny faces for her, or blow bubbles for her to look at. Then, when she got good enough at toddling around, I started taking her outside and holding her hand as she made a bee-line for those other kids. "Hi Baby!," they would yell when they saw her coming. The smile on her face was enormous.

Now that she can get around on her own, some of the younger kids have started showing up at my door, asking if Gracie and I can come out and play. It makes my heart soar.

Today, we went outside and these two kids came over to say hi. The girl, Kimberley, remembered that Gracie had enjoyed drawing with sidewalk chalk a few days ago, and went to her house to get some for us. Gracie grabbed the chalk and plunked right down on our sidewalk and had a wonderful time drawing with the big kids. The little boy is named Kale, and whenever Gracie and I go outside he follows us like a puppy and talks and talks and talks; although I have to admit I only understand about half of what he says.

(Kale has a little sister named Emerson who is about five months younger than Gracie, and has started standing at her front door, watching all the big kids. Yesterday, Gracie and I blew bubbles for her.)

Day 4

A few weeks ago I took the bottom shelf out of the upstairs linen closet so that I could put the vacuum and some other cleaning supplies there, and today, Gracie discovered that she could walk right in. After laughing about that for a few minutes, I showed her that there was a little place she could sit down, and I closed the door so we could play peek-a-boo. She thought that was SO MUCH FUN that I had to sit there for a good 20 minutes while she opened and closed the door. And as I sat there and said PEEK-A-BOO! every time she opened the door, I just kept thinking: "This is the best job I've ever had."

(There isn't much light in that part of the house so I had trouble getting a good picture. Of the 20 or so that I took, this one turned out the best. )

Day 3

Nathan built me these wonderful planters last fall. In addition to being beautiful, he made them super deep so that I can try and grow some vegetables. I planted peas in these ones, and they are starting to grow quite nicely. He also built me some bigger ones that we have on the other side of the yard. I planted green onions, carrots and spinach in those. I absolutely can't wait until I can go out into the back yard and pick me some fresh ingredients for the night's supper.

Day 2

Gracie is a crazy sleeper, just like her Daddy. She rolls and kicks and rolls and kicks and rests her feet on top of the Ocean Wonders thingy and wedges her head into the corner of the crib. And is perfectly happy that way.

I used to stand next to her crib while she was falling asleep at night, putting her legs down from the bars, turning her so she was all nice and straight and safe in the middle of the crib. I would untwist her favorite blankie (the yellow one she's holding) and put it back on her, all nice and flat and perfectly covering her up. And she would immediately bunch the blanket up, twist herself around, and put her feet back up in the air. Going to sleep used to take a long, long, time.

Finally, I decided that I was the problem here, not her, and just started putting her in her crib, kissing her goodnight, and leaving the room. The child is now usually asleep in under ten minutes, always with the feet resting on top of the Ocean Wonders thingy. I usually re-position her after she goes to sleep, but I almost always find her this way again when I check her before I go to bed, and when I wake up in the morning.

This photo was taken this afternoon. I found her this way when she woke up from her nap -- like usual. :)

Day 1

Jody over at The Sparkling House has been doing this wonderful thing called 100 Pictures in 100 Days. Nearly every day she takes a picture of something her family has done, and posts it with a little explanation. Apparently, the only rule is that the picture has to have been taken that day.

Well, I'm enjoying it so much that I've decided that I'm going to shamelessly copy her idea. I never have time to write an actual post anymore, but this I think I could do. I also think you, my beloved readers, will probably like it better because instead of reading boring posts about the zit in my ear, you'll get to see cute pics of Gracie. Probably a lot of cute pics of Gracie, actually.

Plus, I've just figured out how to get our Hard Disk Camcorder to take still photos, and this will give me lots of great practice. (I also may post videos instead of photos some days. I hope that doesn't break the rules.)

So, for my very first day, I give you…a cute pic of Gracie AND a kitty!



Gracie and I went down to my parents farm in Vulcan on Saturday for a Father's Day dinner for my Dad. Gracie had a great time playing with her cousins, and I had a great time visiting with Dad and Mom, my sisters and their husbands. It was quite a house full. We stayed overnight, and this morning before we left Gracie and Olivia were outside playing with some new kittens. This picture was taken in the back yard playhouse. I just love the little kitty looking out the window beside Gracie.

There’s No Face For Peeing

Hubby: I can’t believe you’re going to have the kid potty trained before she can talk.

Me: Oh, we’re a looooong way from being fully trained. Mostly, I just feed her her bottle, wait 20 or 30 minutes, then sit her on the potty and read stories to her until she pees. Anything she does in between I don’t catch. Although, she’s really good at pooping. She makes this face when she’s pooping, so when I see it I just say: “Gracie, are you pooping? Let’s go poop on the potty!” and she gets all excited and runs to the bathroom and we poop on the potty.

Peeing is harder though. It’s hard to tell when she’s peeing. There’s no face for peeing.

Hubby, (now laughing): There’s no face for peeing… There’s the title for your next blog post!

Would you believe my dog ate my blog post?

So, it's official. I am officially the worst blogger ever.

Has it really been more than 2 weeks since I wrote "I'll tell you tomorrow"?
Time is just flying by waaaaayyyyy too fast.

So for those of you who didn't email me or find out on Facebook, the big present was: a trip to New York City to see hubby's beloved Yankees play in Yankee Stadium. And yes, it went over very, very well.

Hubby, one of his very best buddies, and his father all hopped on a plane for a whirlwind weekend trip to the Big Apple, and by all accounts, a good time was had by all.

I'm sorry that it took me so long to post. I really love writing this blog, but between running after Gracie and now looking after my own home-based business, I usually fall into bed exhausted at the end of the day. Generally, there is a really great blog post floating around in my head as I fall asleep (and while I'm having a shower, and while I make dinner); but time to write it? Very hard to find these days. Very hard to find.

I think I finally got him something he will actually like…

Okay, so I don't look anything like Jessica Simpson when I use MY Swiffer. But I think I may just be up for Housewife of the Year when I give hubby his birthday present tomorrow. It's good. Really, really, really good. So good that I think it will make up for the disastrous Christmas of 2007 – he gave me an iPod Touch and I gave him a mini fridge shaped like a Coke can.

Oh yes I did.

I felt so badly about it that I set out to do better for his birthday. And since it's his 30th birthday, I wanted to give him something really big, and really special. So tomorrow (Thursday) is the big unveiling, and I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself.

And yes, I can hear you yelling "what is it?" into your computer screen, but I can't tell you because I want it to be a huge surprise, and hubby reads this blog from time to time. I'll tell you tomorrow.

He's gonna love it.

mmmmm…spinach dip

Ritz Whole Grain Crackers
+ Tostitos Spinach Dip
___________________________
= Denice not caring if she ever loses that last 10 pounds,
if it means she has to give up this scrumptious snack.

Seriously people! Life is too short to deprive yourself of this yumminess, just for the sake of looking a little better in a bathing suit.

That's what I'm telling myself, anyway, as I hoover down the entire jar.

Probably TMI…

Well friends, today is the day that I reveal to you what a sick, twisted, and self-centred individual I really am. Because out of all the pressing world matters that I could be writing about, today, I'm going to write about my zit. That's right, my zit.

I currently have the HUGEST zit I've ever had in my entire life – and that includes the really big one I had on my chin when I was about 15, and while attending some sort of school dance, a guy I was dancing with asked: "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but what's wrong with your chin?"

So what? You must be wondering. Why on God's Green Earth are you making us read about your stupid zit?

BECAUSE IT'S IN MY EAR!
AND IT'S REALLY BIG!
AND IT REALLY HURTS!

It's one of those ones that start about two miles beneath your skin and it now encompasses the entire inside part of my outer ear, and all I want to do is pop it. It's all I can think about. The pressure and the dull ache from the inside of my ear is driving me crazy, and I've spent every spare moment today looking in the mirror, trying to figure out how I can get at it.

Because here's my gross confession: I love to pop those giant disgusting zits. I don't know what it is, but there's something really satisfying to me in popping a zit. I think it's because I hate the thought that there's a deposit of disgusting pus just underneath my skin, and when I see it ooze out in one long squiggle, I know it's gone and I can feel better again. Or something like that. I don't really know.

But I can't get this one. It's in a spot where I physically can't get at it. And it hurts when I lay on it, it hurts when I touch it; it just generally hurts.

I suppose I should just wait for it to go away on it's own, but control freaks like me just aren't zen enough to let things just go away. We have to be pro-active! We have to take action to MAKE it go away!

I'm going back to the mirror.

Question of the Day

Is it wrong to purposely sit and cuddle on the couch with your nauseous child, secretly hoping that said couch might just get vomited on, thereby wrecking the wretchedly ugly old thing and speeding up the process of talking your husband into buying a new one?

Yes?

Then I didn't do that today. Nope. Nosiree. And I definitely didn't let her lay there for a half hour and watch the Backyardigans either.

She didn't puke on it anyway.

Just what time is it?

This daylight savings time has really wrecked my time clock. It's 1:24 a.m. and I'm still awake. I put Gracie to bed at 11:30 p.m. because she had a miraculous 3 hour afternoon nap, then I cleaned the kitchen, made oatmeal muffins, cleaned the kitchen again, did some laundry, tidied up the living room, ate some muffins, folded some laundry, ate some muffins, read some blogs…and now here I am. Everybody went to bed hours ago and my body still thinks it should be awake.

How 'bout you? Did daylight savings time screw with your inner clock?

Bring a cup of coffee. I wrote a novel today…

One year ago today, I woke up to my alarm clock ringing at 5 a.m. I remember thinking that it was pretty rude to make a woman wake up at 5 a.m. in order to get to the hospital by 7 a.m. for a scheduled induction. Shouldn't you let the woman have one last morning of sleep if you are purposely going to send her into labour today? That was my thought as I drug my tired butt out of bed and got into the shower.

But once the water started pouring over me and I started to wake up a bit, the butterflies started in my stomach and the nervousness kicked in. Just how much was this going to hurt? I really, really wanted to avoid the epidural, but how do you know how you will feel in the moment while you're gripped with pain?

An hour later we were in the car, bags packed, headed to the hospital in Calgary. We arrived, parked, then wandered and wandered until we finally found the right room for the induction. I was the only woman scheduled that morning, so hubby and I had the room all to ourselves. I went to the bathroom, put on my gown, went back the room, heard they were going to strap me to the monitor and make me stay still for an hour -- so I went to the bathroom again.



She applied the gel to my cervix and I stayed put for an hour. "Come back at 2 p.m., whether you've started contractions or not," the nurse told us. If you haven't started yet, we'll give you more. Often, we have to do this a couple times for it to work."

I started having contractions in the car before we even made it out of the city. By the time we reached Airdrie, I could hardly sit in my seat. Hubby decided we should stop at Blockbuster and rent a movie so there would be something for me to take my mind off the pain until we went back to the hospital. I thought it was a good idea, but wasn't sure I'd be able to walk through the store. Turned out it wasn't open yet so we just went home…

I love the TV show Friends, and we own all 10 seasons on DVD, so hubby put one of the seasons in for me. I have no idea which one, because for the first time in my life, I couldn't care less. All I could do is kneel on the floor and put my head on the couch, because that was the only comfortable position I could find. Hubby went to McDonalds to get some lunch for me, but I just couldn't eat it.

Finally, at 12:30 p.m., Nate decided he better put me in the car before I started refusing to go. I thought we should wait a bit longer, 'cause I didn't want to drive all the way there and then find out it was too early and have to go back home again. Turns out hubby made a good decision. By the time we got the hospital again, the contractions were close enough together that I could only go about 10 steps before I had to stop. When we reached the labour and delivery ward, all I could do was drape myself over the front desk.

"I'm guessing you're in labour!" the sing-songy nurse trilled. I wanted to say something really nasty, but all I could get out was a very breathy "YES!" She helped me to a bed in a small dark room, gave me a gown to change into and pulled the curtains around me. As soon as I had changed into the gown and managed to get myself on the bed, my water broke. The contractions suddenly intensified about 10 times, and I found myself hardly able to breath through them.

I was trying to find new coping mechanisms for this new development, and I must not have been doing a very good job, because from the other side of the curtain, I could hear a nurse say to another woman: "I'm sorry honey, these are just Braxton-Hicks contractions. When you're really in labour, you'll sound like her!"

Soon after that, my nurse came back to check me and decided it was time to put me in a delivery room -- they were really slow that day so there were a bunch just sitting empty. Might as well put me in there where there was lots more room and Nathan could be a bit more comfy too.

And I must confess, after that, the events are a bit of a blur. I remember refusing the epidural and deciding to try the laughing gas, since that was the only pain relief option that wouldn't do any damage to Gracie. I don't think it worked all that well, but I did notice when I had sucked the whole tank dry. Mostly, it helped me with my breathing because I had to really concentrate and breathe correctly through the contractions -- if I started to hyperventilate a bit through a really bad one, the nurses would have a fit and come and make me slow my breathing down. Then I remember saying: "Maybe I will try a little morphine now…" about 12 times, and nobody making any move to get me some. Oh well.

After what hadn't seemed like a very long time to me, I started to feel that overwhelming need to push. A doctor checked me out and said that it was okay to start, so I did -- and Oh My God did that ever feel good! I have never felt such relief in my whole life.

And then a different doctor came to check and said I was only 9.5 centimetres dilated and that I would have to wait and stop pushing. I could have cried. I think I might have…I'll have to ask Nate. The next hour of trying not to push through each contraction when every single muscle in my body was trying to push that baby out was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I will never forget those muscles gripping my body, pushing, tightening, hardening -- and being told to try to relax them and do nothing. Like I had some kind of control over it or something.

Finally, FINALLY I was allowed to push again, and the relief was blissful. I remember that the pushing part was extremely hard physical work, but I don't really remember it being painful, to be honest. It was just such a relief to get to work with my body instead of trying to work against it, that it felt like heaven. I pushed for nearly an hour before I finally got Gracie's giant head out. Once her head was out, I remember thinking "Okay! I'm almost done! After the head, the shoulders are just a couple pushes and I'm done…right?"

Wrong. Oh so very wrong.

Gracie had her arms crossed in front of her, with her two little hands touching each shoulder. I pushed and I pushed and I pushed and I pushed and nothing was happening. Nobody would tell me what was going on -- just to push a little harder. Then suddenly, with the next contraction, I felt an absolute searing pain. I remember screaming that this hurt SO MUCH and the doctors saying I just had to keep pushing. I couldn't see what they were doing, but afterwards my Mom told me that the doctor had had to reach a hand in and first grab one of Gracie's arms and pull it out, then pull out her other arm with the next contraction because her face was starting to turn blue.

A few more pushes and she was out. They grabbed her and ran, and took her to a corner of the room where I think three different pediatricians were waiting to look at her. Which totally freaked me out -- and once again, nobody would tell me anything. "She's just fine, they're just checking her," is all the doctor still with me would say. Gracie wasn't making any noise, and Nate and I were getting really scared -- and then she finally started to cry. (Five days later, we would find out that the doctor had broken her collarbone while yanking her out of there, but that's another story…)



They let Nate and my Mom go over there and take pictures and hold her, but I was still in the bed. The doctor was stitching me up -- and stitching and stitching and stitching -- and everybody else had seen and held this beautiful girl but me. I WAS STARTING TO GET ANGRY. (As a side note - the doctor who was stitching me up didn't know I hadn't had an epidural or any painkillers of any kind, and just started stitching me up. And when I yelled, she looked up and said: "That hurt?")

Then eventually, when they were done stitching me up, I got to hold my sweet Gracie, and it was love at first sight.



Grace Amelia Elizabeth Anderson was born at 6:57 p.m., February 5, 2007. She was 8 lbs, 10.75 oz.

Goodbye Santana and Kaydance

I can't stop thinking about them, those two little girls from the Yellow Quill Reserve in Saskatchewan. They died on Tuesday night, outside in the bitter, bitter cold, wearing nothing but diapers and t-shirts, trying to follow their father.

One-year-old Santana and three-year-old Kaydance were following their drunk father to a neighbours house. They didn't have jackets. They didn't have mittens. They didn't even have pants or socks or shoes. They were outside, the wind chill dipping the temperature down to -50 C, trying to follow daddy.

And I can't stop crying. Because all I can think about are these two little girls, wandering around outside in the cold, first whimpering, then crying, then screaming, asking daddy to come and help them. And then I can see daddy getting further and further away, not turning around, not paying any attention to his babies, and the girls getting colder and colder. It would take only two or three minutes in those temperatures before those girls wouldn't be able to walk anymore. So they probably sat down in the snow, not able to move, not able to talk, not able to do anything but watch daddy walk away. They were probably terrified.

They died terrified, in horrific pain, all alone, in the bitter cold and the dark of night.

And all I can do is cry.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080130/national/wea_girls_frozen

Proper Pronunciation

Gracie's been starting to talk a lot more lately. Lots of times, she's just repeating what I'm saying and she never says it again. But sometimes it sticks, and she says it often. And sometimes, it's not really a whole word, but the first syllable or two.

For instance, when she is hungry and wants her bottle, she'll give me the sign language I taught her for milk and say: BOT! She's said that so much lately that her father and I both have started calling it BOT! too. But you can't fool her. She knows the word is bottle…

Me, yesterday afternoon: "Are you hungry? Would you like a BOT?"

Gracie, looking me right in the face, very seriously: "BOT-L mum! BOT-L!"

Thoughts for the Day…

1. Putting snow boots on a toddler is not for the faint of heart. It requires relentless perseverance, and should be attempted about 20 minutes before you need to leave the house. Trust me.

2. If you call Shaw Cable at 10:30 p.m. for assistance with uploading the temporary website you only spent five minutes creating because you have no idea what you are doing, the guy on the other end will actually be very nice. And you don't have to wait on hold for two hours before talking to real people either; the phone rang three times and then I actually got to speak to a real person! I'm going to start calling help lines at 10:30 p.m. from now on…

3. Working from home is GREAT! I spend my days with sweet Gracie, and my evenings in front of my Mac designing pretty ads and fancy-schmancy new logos. It's hard, but I think I made the right decision -- going back to work at the newspaper wouldn't have worked for me.

4. The Gracie Giggle is the world's sweetest sound. And the older she gets, the more I get to hear it.

Maybe I should stop checking my Sitemeter…

To all those who are here because you Googled "Pillsbury Gingerbread Cookie Dough", I'm very sorry. The only info you will get is my crazy ramblings about how much I love it.

I've written about lots of other things here at denice-isms but my traffic has gone up three-fold since I wrote those two posts, mostly because when you Google Pillsbury Gingerbread Cookie Dough, I'm like the third entry that comes up.

I'm trying hard not to think about what that means: like perhaps I should be worried that out of all the things I've done in my life, my love of Pillsbury Gingerbread Cookies is what I am now most known for.

But instead, I am just going to be flattered that I am known for anything at all, and invite all of you who arrived here by mistake to stay and read awhile. :)

Is there a Vogue for workout wear?

Clearly, I am not gym chic.

I went to the gym tonight, like all the other New Year's Resolutioners in Airdrie, to use the treadmill. It was 9 p.m. and the place was packed to the rafters. And every single one of them was dressed in a fancy-schmancy new workout outfit. Every single one of them! Apparently, when you make a New Year's Resolution to get in shape, you also must purchase fancy new workout clothes to make it a done deal.

I did not do this. I put on my favorite comfy yoga pants and a slightly baggy t-shirt, so as not to show my, um, less than perfect physique, and headed off the to gym. I knew I didn't exactly look great, but I figured there would be a couple more people like me there.

Nope. Not one. Just rows and rows of brand new lycra and co-ordinating water bottles. Oh well. Perhaps in a few weeks all those new outfits will be staying home and me and my baggy sweats will fit in just fine.

Best Christmas Ever!

I have the bestest hubby in the whole country. No, the whole world. No, the whole universe.
Because my sweet, wonderful hubby got me one of these wonderful things for Christmas!



It's an iPod Touch, and I can't stop using it. I find it to be especially helpful when Gracie is so tired that she nearly falls asleep while eating her supper, but when put in her bed just cries and cries and cries until she finally falls asleep. Drowns out that crying real nice, and helps to keep Mommy sane!

Tomorrow, we'll see how much Gracie likes riding in Mommy's jogging stroller while Mommy ignores her because she's listening to her iPod!

Hope everybody had a wonderful Christmas!

One small step for Gracie…

Gracie walked! We have a walking girl! She left the safety of the coffee table and walked four steps over to get me, four times in a row!

Actually, "walked" isn't exactly the right word. It was more like running and then diving when she got near me. But she was doing it unassisted, and so I remain steadfast in my excitement over this new development.

Do I have a picture to post? Um, no. But I will, just as soon as I can get her to do it while someone else is in the room. What a wonderful, wonderful Christmas.

Merry Christmas everybody! Hope you have a wonderful day too.

I can do it MYSELF!

I've been up to my eyeballs these past couple of weeks. Up to my eyeballs in design work, Christmas shopping, Christmas wrapping and laundry. Oh, the never-ending laundry.

But I had to take a couple minutes to tell you about yesterday, which I am now calling "Gracie's Super-Duper I Can Do It MYSELF Day!!!"

Usually, Gracie is quite happy to let Mommy do everything for her. Insistent, in fact. But yesterday, she decided that lots of things that Mommy does were things she could do all by herself thank you very much, and she just took over.

When we had our morning bottle, she held it all by herself. When it was breakfast time she wanted to eat all by herself, so I just put all the stuff I was going to feed her on her little highchair tray and let her have at it.

Later, we were doing some walking around (still assisted by me, but we're down to holding onto just one of my hands!) and she decided she needed a soother. So she walked me over to the little box on the coffee table where I keep them, grabbed the box, turned it over so all the soothers fell out, grabbed one and stuck it right in her mouth à la Maggie Simpson, then kept on motoring…

Then, when it was bathtime, she grabbed the wash cloth I was using to wash her and rubbed it up and down her tummy and washed herself! And after the bath, when I was brushing her hair, she grabbed the brush and started brushing her very own hair. It was so adorable I thought I might cry.

So here she is, 10 months old and already wanting to do things herself. I can't decide if this is a very, very good thing, or a very, very bad thing…

P.S. I'm not going to tell you how much she's been sleeping at night lately, because:
a. Every time I write about how well she's sleeping I jinx it, and
b. When you guys find out, you'll all come to my house and kill me in a fit of jealousy.
Let's just say I'm getting lots of work done at night and I still get to sleep in a bit in the morning. But I'm pretty sure this wonderful sleeping schedule will go all to hell when we start our Christmas traveling on Friday, so I'm enjoying it while I can. Maybe I'll go to Blockbuster tonight and rent The Simpsons Movie and hubby and I will have one quiet night together before Christmas…

If I don't make it back here to cyberspace before then, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!!!

No more gingerbread cookies for me

So, I was starting to feel pretty good about myself, body image-wise. (Which is totally new for me, but that's an entirely different post).

Anyway, I was feeling pretty good about myself, because after months of eating right and exercising, I'm now just 5 pounds away from reaching my pre-pregnancy weight. Which admittedly isn't saying much, since I needed to lose 10 pounds when I got pregnant, but losing 20 pounds is losing 20 pounds, whether you still have 15 more to go or not. I can fit back into a lot of my old clothes again, and I was actually starting to not hate the sight of myself in my mirror.

Life was good. I was happy.

And then my next door neighbour dropped by for coffee.
AND ASKED ME IF I WAS EXPECTING AGAIN!

Now to be fair, I was planning to exercise during Gracie's nap so I had just put on a fairly form-fitting yoga outfit which does a very good job of accentuating my huge spare tire. And she back-pedalled really quickly when my reply was "Nope. Just still fat." by saying that it was just that I was Looking So Good Lately that the round tummy looked out of place. Hurrumpf.

Guess I gotta lay off the Gingerbread Cookies.
Merry Christmas. Bah Humbug.

I FOUND IT!

Okay, you can all stop panicking. (Because I know you were all very worried about my lack of Pillsbury Gingerbread Cookie Dough, despite the busy lives you lead). I now have the cookie dough downstairs in my fridge, and as soon as I'm done writing this, I will be filling up my cookie jar with it's yummy goodness.

And it's all because of you, wonderful, wonderful Tracy! I figured if you found some way up there in Yellowknife, it had to be here in Airdrie by now -- and there it was, all yummy and waiting for me at the Real Canadian Superstore.

So, as my sorta, kinda holiday gift to you, I'm going to let you all in on a little secret, just in case my rambling about this the Pillsbury Gingerbread Cookie dough has made you a little curious and you also have a tube of the yummy stuff in your fridge. What you do is follow the directions they give you for making Ginger Snaps, except that instead of baking them for 12 to 14 minutes like they say, bake them for more like 8 to 10 minutes (depending on your stove), and they will come out all chewy and soft and melt-in-your-mouth yummy!

Now, since I dieted and dieted and dieted until I can now finally get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes, I am going downstairs to bake me a bunch of cookies and blow my diet all to hell.

Merry Christmas!!!!

P.S. I do actually know how to bake cookies from scratch -- I make chocolate chip cookies for Nate all the time. Just so you know I'm not super lazy or anything. I just really like that dough!

Oh where oh where have the gingerbread cookies gone…

I'm starting to get worried. I can't find the Pillsbury Gingerbread Cookie Dough anywhere.

Every Christmas, Pillsbury puts out tubes of Sugar cookie dough, which is alright if you like sugar cookies, but I don't; and Gingerbread cookie dough, which is the most wonderfully yummy delight you will ever have the privilege to digest. I look forward to that dough, well, like a kid looks forward to Christmas. And when it finally arrives, I buy like, 20 tubes of cookie dough and store them in my freezer so I can have them all year long. Of course, I've usually eaten them all by July…

I love these cookies so much that this time last year, even though we had already decided that Gracie's name would be Gracie, I was seriously considering talking Nate into calling her Ginger instead. I thought it was a really unique old-fashioned name that no one else in her class would have -- and just think of all the fun we would have making "her" Gingerbread cookies! Those would be good memories people!

Anyway, they have had the sugar cookie dough in stores for quite some time now, but the Gingerbread cookies are nowhere to be found. And I was really, really looking forward to those cookies! This year, I was, um, home a little more often than usual, what with being on maternity leave and all, and I kinda ate my whole stockpile of gingerbread cookies by March.

So somebody, please tell me you've seen them in YOUR grocery store and I just have to patient. It's just not Christmas without those cookies!

I'm a big girl now…

So, we've hit a major milestone in the life of Gracie. On Sunday I decided to throw caution to the wind and turn her car seat around to forward facing, even though she is only 9 months old. I decided that since my car seat instructions said you could turn the kid around when she reaches 22 pounds and Gracie is now 24 pounds and wearing 12-18 months (and sometimes 1T!) sized clothing, that I would ignore the dire warnings from the health nurses that she must be 1 year old before she can sit forwards or the world will come to an end.

You see, I drive a 1996 Ford Taurus; and I don't know how many of you have been in the back seat of a 1996 Ford Taurus (or what you were doing there), but if you have, you will have noticed that the seats and the back window are very, very sloped. So no matter what position I put that car seat in, the only thing poor Gracie got to look at was the roof and the sky.

She also hated not being able to see me, and I don't think she understood where I went while she was all alone in the back seat. It got so that I just put her in the seat and listened to the crying all the way to wherever we were going, because if I talked to her, I just made it worse. It was like she was saying: "Well if you're in here, why don't you come and get me? Where the hell are you?????"

So I turned it around, one-year-old rule be damned. I figure she's as big as most one-year-olds right now, so why on earth am I waiting for a magic number?

And boy does she love it! Yesterday I took her to the grocery store, and I wish you could have seen it. It was the best car ride I have ever had with her. She just grinned, and grinned and grinned. She could finally see Mommy. She could finally figure out where I was. She kept saying "Hi!" so that I would turn around and say hi back, and then she laughed her little head off. And she even waved to the people in the car sitting next to us at the red light.

I think I made the right decision.

BEST DAY EVER!

I just had the best day ever!

It started this morning with my first-ever day at the spa, which was a birthday present from my very sweet mother-in-law. I got a one-hour massage, a pedicure and a facial while Nate's mom babysat Gracie. Oh my, oh my, it was heaven. I fell asleep during the massage, it was so damn relaxing. My feet have never looked this good, ever. (Except for maybe when I was a baby and had those cute little baby feet.) And the facial was a little weird, but my skin sure feels nice now!

Then we needed a few things, so Gracie and I went and did a little shopping, and we had the best time! We were walking down an aisle of Christmas things, and there was this funny Santa on the shelf that she was reaching for so we went over to take a look. Turns out, when you turn it on, he shakes his little tush to that techno-dance song that goes: "I like to move it move it." Well, Gracie thought that was the funniest thing she had ever seen. She laughed and laughed and laughed! I've never seen her laugh so hard before, and so of course it made me laugh. Pretty soon people were coming from aisles over to see what was so funny - and I got to play the proud mommy who had everyone in the store admiring her little cutiepie.

But wait -- there's more!

When we got home and I was giving Gracie her bath, she started talking to me. Not real talking of course, because the only words she has are "Mumumumum" and "Dadadadad". But she was looking me right in the face and talking up a storm, almost like she was telling me all the fun things she had done today while I was gone. She's never done that before. In fact, until about two weeks ago, she didn't talk much at all. She would play without hardly saying a word, with a cute little grin on her face if she was happy, or a look of serious concentration if she was trying to figure something out. The only time she really said much of anything was when she was upset, so it was more like whining and crying as opposed to baby babbling. Then about two weeks ago she started kind of baby babbling and talking while she played, and it's been so much fun! But tonight; tonight was special. Instead of babbling at the toy she was playing with, she was babbling to me. She was telling me something, and it was important to her. I just wish I knew what she was saying…

But wait -- there's more!

Nate decided we should have pizza for supper, so we ordered in and I didn't have to cook. Then Gracie just skipped her second nap of the day and went to bed 2 hours earlier than usual, so I actually got to be a lazy coach potato and watch Grey's Anatomy.

Then, look! I had time to write a blog post! That almost never happens anymore!

Now, I'm going to bed and it's only midnight!
What a wonderful, wonderful day.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's back to work I go…

So I'm kinda sorta back to work now, and life has gotten very chaotic. Gracie still doesn't play well by herself for very long, so I have to do most of my graphic design work while she naps and after she goes to bed at night -- which means every spare moment that I used to have to myself is now spent working.

Which means I have just enough time to read everybody else's blog, but not much time to write my own.

But I've got a fancy-schmancy new toy to play with! My very generous inlaws gave us a new JVC Everio video camera, and as soon as I figure out how to do it, I'm gonna post a short video clip of my little cutie pie for all of you to see.

Just as soon as I get this Volleyball Provincial Playoffs program done. And do some laundry. And mop my kitchen floor, 'cause I spilled something sticky on it three days ago and still haven't found the time to mop it up.

But then I'm posting a video. I promise!

If you give a kid a cookie…

I'm a terrible, horrible, awful mother. Yesterday, I did the unthinkable.

I fed my 8-month-old a Mint Oreo Cookie, and I'm not sorry I did it.

What led me to this madness? What terrible events could have occurred for me to do such a dastardly thing? Lack of sleep my friends. Extreme lack of sleep.

You see, Gracie was a little out of whack, sleeping-wise. It started about two weeks ago when she got a bit of a cold. She kept waking up in the night either with a coughing fit or because her poor little head was all plugged up and she couldn't breathe. If she was tired enough, we would rock in the rocking chair until she fell asleep again. But mostly, once she was awake there was no going back to sleep, no matter how hard I tried. So we would be up for a couple hours in the middle of the night until she could sleep again; and then she would need a big nap the next day.

Pretty soon, the daytime naps were getting longer and the night-time waking up time was getting longer too, until we got to the point where she was sleeping most of the day away, then waking up in the evening and not going to bed until 2 a.m., then waking up again at 6 a.m. And Denice was starting to get grumpy. I have a really hard time taking naps in the daytime because, well, I have things to do. And living on four hours of sleep just wasn't doing it for me.

By Sunday, I was at the end of my rope. I needed some sleep. I decided since Gracie was over her cold, I was going to keep her awake for most of the day. And as I was sitting next to her on the floor, eating a couple of Mint Oreo Cookies for a little sugar rush to keep me awake, a little thought quietly ran through my head: "If these cookies are keeping ME awake…"

I pulled another Oreo out of the package, took one of the cookie pieces off and hesitated for a moment as I contemplated if this really was a good idea, or if it was my sleep deprived brain trying to convince me it was a good idea -- and Gracie made the decision for me. She grabbed the cookie right out of my hand and stuffed it directly into her mouth. Well, mostly she just sucked on the icing because she doesn't have any teeth yet, but you get the idea.

So I let my Gracie have sugar for the first time, and boy did it work! She stayed awake most of the day, went to bed at the very reasonable hour of 10 p.m., and slept straight through until 8:30 a.m., just like she used to do.

And I'm not sorry. Incredibly guilt-ridden for feeding my child junk at such a young age -- you betcha. But sorry? Can't say that I am.

Snotty Kleenexes everywhere…

So tired. So very tired. Gracie sick, not sleeping. Mommy not sleeping either. No time to shower, let alone blog. Was I this tired when she was brand new and not sleeping? I don't remember -- so I guess I just answered my own question. Must sleep now. Will write later.

The sweetest word in the English language:

"Mum…Mum…Mum…Mum…," said quietly by your 8-month-old while she's snuggling into your arms as she drifts off to sleep.

Oh, I had the best afternoon with Gracie today. She was grumpy this morning, so I managed to get her to take her afternoon nap early, and she woke up in the best mood!

She giggled and she smiled and she played with me for hours. I gave her a soda cracker for a snack and she took one bite, then shoved it in my mouth so I could have a bite, then a bite for her and a bite for me until it was all gone. We've been working on kisses lately -- usually I ask her if I can have one and then she gives me one, but today she gave me many slobbery baby kisses without being asked. And then she snuggled in when it was time for sleep and just kept saying mum…mum…mum… until she was sound asleep in my arms.

Boy do I love my life. Crazy busy and tiring, yes, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

It's going by so fast…

So I'm shopping at the Real Canadian Superstore the other day, and it was totally New Baby Central. Everywhere I looked, bleary-eyed new mommies were wandering sleepily around the grocery store, and, as usual, I was trying to sneak a peek at all the teeny weeny babies sleeping in their infant seats. Not because I'm nosy, but because I just can't resist a teeny tiny baby.

Anyway, I'm looking at all these new mommies and I realized something very big: I'm no longer a member of the Bleary-Eyed New Mommy Club. My kid is big. Huge. Sitting up in the front of the shopping cart, eating the Gerber Graduates I'm doling out and trying to grab everything I take off the shelf so she can see what it is, then chew on it.

These days, unless she's having a particularly bad teething day and won't go to sleep, the only reason for me to be bleary-eyed is that I decided to stay up to watch the Colbert Report, which doesn't come on until 12:30 a.m. in our part of the country. I'm very well rested, most days I get to have a shower and put on make-up, and I hardly ever have to leave the house in a shirt that's been spit-up on.

And I didn't even notice it happening.

When Gracie was new, other new mommies and I would give each other the look as we passed each other. You know, the look that said, "I don't know you, but I understand that you are as tired as I am and I feel your pain." Then I would look at the mommies with big babies and think that that day was a lifetime away. Good Lord, it only took 8 months.

Where did the time go? And more importantly, is every year going to go by this fast?

How to scare the crap out of your husband…

So, I'm rocking Gracie to sleep in our rocking chair in the living room, singing my song of choice, "You are my Sunshine." I usually just sing the first verse of the song a few times and skip the second one, since it's really rather depressing, and then once I'm sick of singing that one over and over I just start humming.

Anyway, I'm rocking and I'm singing, and I notice that over yonder on the couch, hubby is also starting to get some droopy eyes. So I decide to change the lyrics a little bit, just to be funny. So my next time around the same verse, I start singing: "You're my two sunshines, my only sunshines. You both make me happy, when skies are grey…"

"WHAT????" Says hubby, now sitting straight up on the couch, no longer sleepy at all.

"What do you mean, what?" I say, clearly not understanding what's wrong.

"What do you mean BOTH?" He says, getting a little bit panicky now.

"Gracie and you. I thought you were looking a little sleepy over there."

"Oh thank god! I thought you were pregnant again!"

Best Thing Ever!

Wanna see the smiling-est baby that ever there was? Come on over to my house, and see the incredible transformation of the baby who last week wouldn't stop crying, and today won't stop smiling!

Yesterday we went to pick up the walker my hubby's parents bought us, and I tell you it's the best thing that ever happened to Gracie. My baby, who has never been a very smiley child, is now grinning ear to ear. I plunk her in that thing and she follows me wherever I go, grinning her big gummy grin and saying: "Mamamamamamama!"

Also fun: squealing with delight when she spots one of our cats, then chasing after them (and pretty fast!) until the kitty in question finds some place to go that the walker can't. Poor cats didn't know what hit them.

It's days like this I wish I had a digital camera so I could show you all the pure bliss on Gracie's face.

Boy, what a difference a day makes.

Thank you, thank you very much!

Thank you all so much for your kind words and suggestions this week. Boy did I need them. I was kind of getting a little nutsy, home all alone all day with a frustrated baby who doesn't understand why Mommy is so grumpy.

I tried a number of your suggestions. Jody, I tried putting her in my Peapod Cuddly Wrap to carry her around with me, but she hated it just as much as she did when she was teeny. So instead, I just carry her for awhile and do everything one handed. If I'm unloading the dishwasher I give her one of her plastic spoons to play with while I finish. And while doing the laundry I put her in the basket on top of the clothes and carry her up and down the two floors -- she thinks that's hilarious! The first day carrying a 22-pound seven-month-old around with one arm all day was a little tough, but boy you should feel my bicep now!

I also decided that she's probably bored with playing with the same toys and hanging out doing the same things all day long. I'm a bit of a homebody, and staying home for 4 or 5 days at a stretch really doesn't bother me. But I think Gracie needs a little extra stimulation. So I signed us up for the public library's BabyTime (she cried through the entire first session), and I'm looking into taking her to the pool (Julie will be proud). Since I'm currently on foot while Nate's truck is getting fixed, I've also taken her on a walk every day this week, and she really seemed to like that.

Also, shortly after I wrote that post, my inlaws called to say they bought us a walker while they were down in the States! Yayyy! We will be going to pick it up in a few days, but just knowing that it is coming is making me a happy lady. We do have an exersaucer and a jolly jumper, but she's been in them since she was three months old and is sick of them. Hopefully this walker will make things better.

So thank you all very much. All those things helped, but I also got to the bottom of WHY I was getting so nutsy and grumpy. Because honestly, this last 7 months have been the best 7 months of my life. Turns out, I really love being a stay-at-home Mom. For the first time in so many years I can't remember, I actually want to get out of bed in the morning. I spend all day playing with a sweet little cutie pie who seems to like my singing voice and loves it when I tickle her and flip her upside down. When she's sleeping I do some housework, bake some cookies, water my flowers, do a little redecorating -- all the things I wanted to do when I was working but didn't have time.

So when all the other women around me are talking about how they can't wait to get back to work, I always wonder why on earth you would WANT to go back to never-ending stress and 60 hour weeks. And that's when it hit me: other people don't have jobs with never-ending stress and 60 hour weeks. And for the first time I realized how much I was dreading going back to work -- even if it will be in my own home working for myself. And the whole time Gracie's been going through this grumpy phase, all I can think about is this: I have to start up my home-based business in 3 months, and what on earth will I do if she's still like this when I have to get some work done?

But I have decided I will cross that bridge when I get to it, and not worry about it until then. Three months is a long time in the life of Gracie -- a lot can change between now and then, and I'm probably worrying myself sick over nothing. So until then, I will change my expectation of how much I can get done in a day, and just enjoy my walking time with Gracie.

P.S. This may be a bit too much info for some, but I also decided that my birth control patch was making me a bit loopy. Anybody else try it and have trouble with it? I went to the doctor on Thursday and she's recommending an IUD. I think I will try it.

Welcome to Frustration City!

Oh, we've been having some fun down at the denice-isms household lately. Gracie is a frustrated, frustrated little girl. She wants to move around so very badly, but she just refuses to crawl. Nope, no crawling for Gracie. What she would like to do is just stand and walk around all day please. But since she can't actually do that on her own, and I can't hold her up so she can play all day long, Gracie and I are at an impasse.

Three weeks ago, things were going just fine. She was well on her way to starting to crawl, and life was going well. And then she fell and whacked her head on one of her toys. And I'm not talking a small little bump to the noggin; she whacked it good. There was a bruise and a bump and everything. So now she refuses to even try to crawl. She reaches as far forward as she dares without falling over and then she's done. If something she wants is out of her reach, she just cries. And cries, and cries and cries some more.

Also, no longer can I leave her playing nicely in the living room. I used to be able to plunk her down on a blanket in the living room, give her some toys, and spend the next hour or so doing my chores while she played. Not anymore. Now she must be in the room I am in or she screams. Actually, first she screams, then the screams turn into piteous sobs accompanied by giant crocodile tears. Anyone listening might think I have packed her up and left her on someone else's doorstep never to return, so sad are the sobs that come out of that girl's mouth.

And since I am the world's biggest softie, after about five minutes of the sobs, I give in. I try to leave her there to work it out for herself so she will learn that she has to entertain herself. But I just can't do it. After awhile the sobs get the best of me and I go pick her up. And put her down on the floor in the room I am currently in, give her some toys and hope that makes her happy. Nope. She will scream the entire time I unload the dishwasher, or make supper, or fold the laundry. Because what she really wants to do is walk.

So, when I am done what I am doing, we walk. And walk, and walk, and walk. We go from the kitchen to the patio door in the living room and back again. And when mommy gets tired of that, we go outside and walk on the grass. This kid is getting pretty good at it too, if I do say so myself. The only time she is happy now is when I hold onto her two little hands and we walk. She grins the world's biggest grin, makes happy little screeching noises and gurgles and talks and looks up and smiles at me with that big gummy smile that melts my heart; and every once in awhile we stop to take a little rest and she gives me a big wet slobbery baby kiss.

The ENTIRE REST OF THE DAY she is fussing and crying and screaming for me to come and get her and let her walk. And Mommy is getting frustrated. I yelled at her this morning. After trying several different things to entertain her and she was still screeching, I yelled "FINE!!!!!", picked her up kind of roughly and stood her on her feet to walk some more. So of course she cried because Mommy has never done that before, and I cried because I'd never treated her that way before, and now I just want to crawl into a hole and die. I'm supposed to be the Mommy with infinite patience, and today mine ran out.

I know this is just a phase, and soon she will be more mobile and happy. But it's just such a long day when she gets up at 8 a.m. and only takes a short afternoon nap and doesn't go to bed until 11 p.m. Someone please tell me she will be happier soon!

Oh, to be a rich woman…

Before you read on, go to www.potterybarnkids.com and look at all the super cute Halloween stuff.

Aren't they the cutest costumes you've ever seen? If I was rich, (and I'm definitely not), and if they actually shipped this stuff to Canada, I would be ordering a whole butt-load of Halloween fun! (I bet rich people don't say "butt-load" either.)

If I could afford it, Gracie would have one of those adorable little costumes (devil? flower? tiger? bee? ladybug?…I can't decide!), and I would be the Sorcerer. I also want most of the decorations, the cute plates, placemats and tablecloth, the neat games, and the banner for my front door.

Anybody know what the Lotto 6/49 jackpot is this week?

How cute is she????

Seven things about me…

Because I know I'm so important to you all (heeheehee), I've decided that I had better offer up a post to keep you all coming back, just in case you decide to abandon me due to lack of posting. The only problem is nothing worthy of an entire post has happened to me lately.

You see, it's summer, so I'm naturally distracted from anything that requires much brain power (throwback to childhood summer vacation I guess). And I'm still (STILL!) cleaning my house from top to bottom, and baby is it getting organized! But I've still got a bit more to do so I'm spending every spare minute doing that.

So, to keep you all interested until I am done cleaning and back to my usual self, here are some random things in my life from the past few weeks:

1. I am totally in love with the new Tide laundry detergent that smells like white lilac. Makes my clothes smell so nice, I actually WANT to do laundry.

2. I am addicted to the new Peek Frean Cranberry Citrus Oat Crunch cookies. Yummy!!! Dip them in a little vanilla yogurt: even yummier!

3. I just found out that my next door neighbor and her teenage daughter have been going to the food bank to get them through some tough times. Now all I want to do is bake for them and do whatever else I can for them.

4. Gracie has decided to be a night owl like mommy and daddy. She goes to bed at 1 a.m. and sleeps until 10 a.m. She can sit up on her own now too. Well, most of the time. When she's bored of sitting she just falls backwards, which is fine when she's sitting on my bed while I fold laundry, but not so fine when we are in the living room on the padded foam tile thingies. Or at the Superstore getting family photos taken and you have to sit on the cement floor.

5. I have been watching Little House on the Prairie every day at 5 p.m. while Gracie naps and I make supper. Embarassing, but true. Did you know that Jason Bateman and Shannen Doherty were on that show when they were little kids? It's kinda funny to watch.

6. I had my first "I can do it myself Mommy!" moment with Gracie the other day. It was only the third time I've let her sit up while she takes a bath, and since I'm trying to be a responsible adult and not let her drown, I kept holding onto her. And she kept grabbing my hand and pushing it away. The fifth? time, she looked right into my eyes and started baby-babbling in a very annoyed voice, her little face all scrunched and mad. I'm pretty sure she was telling me off in her own little language.

7. Speaking of language, she's getting very close to saying "Mommy." Whenever she is upset, scared, crying, or just generally annoyed with something, I get an "Uhhh-meeee!" At first I thought it was just coincidental baby babble, but she's doing it pretty consistently now. I have to say I'm kinda surprised. The way she's been trying to get the cats, I was certain her first word was going to be Kitty.

Well, that's me in a nutshell these days. As soon as I get a minute, I'll scan the family photos we had taken and post them here.

My kid's bigger than your kid…

I took Gracie to her 6-month check-up this afternoon, and after the nurse did the preliminary height and weight check, this is what I overheard just outside the door of the little room they stuck us in:

Doctor: This can't be right.

Nurse: But it is. I checked twice. Her mother helped me hold her still.

Doctor: But she can't be 74 cm tall. She's only 6 months old.

Nurse: You can measure her again yourself, but she's 74 cm tall.

Doctor: Then I guess the weight must be right too. 9.43 kg? That's over the 100th percentile. Holy crap, that's one big kid.

So apparently, my kid's bigger than your kid, and your kid, and your kid too. Not unhealthy -- the doctor said she's quite proportional -- just big.

And nobody is more surprised than me. For those of you who don't know me in the flesh, I'm only 5'3" tall. So when I got pregnant I just assumed that I was going to have me a nice little 6 pound baby, because seriously, where would a bigger baby than that fit? And even when presented with ultrasound results that told me Gracie was at least 7 pounds and probably more, I didn't really believe it. Induce me today? But it's only my due date! Let's not be hasty. If Gracie doesn't really want to come out, then I don't think we should force her just yet…

Then a week later, when they told me I shouldn't wait any longer and made me come in for an induction, I still didn't really believe the baby could be that big. When asked if I wanted some morphine or an epidural, I naively said no, I thought that I could probably get by just fine with some of that nice laughing gas I had read about. And I did get by just fine -- until my giant baby got stuck and they had to do some nasty things to get her out. FYI, laughing gas is NOT effective when they need to reach in and rip out a baby who is going into distress. I won't go into details, but when all was said and done, Gracie's collarbone was broken and I didn't walk so well for quite awhile…

Where was I? Oh yes - my big baby weighed in at a whopping 8 pounds, 10.75 ounces, and she's been big ever since. At this rate, she's going to outgrow me sometime next year. And that's just fine with me. Maybe she will grow up to be one of those lucky ladies who doesn't have to shop in the petites section. Sigh…a mother can dream, can't she?

PMS Day. Need I say more?

I am grumpy and frustrated beyond measure today. Gracie is being a crying, whining, teething 6-month-old (which I know she can't help), and all the things I usually do to cheer her up are not working and all she does is cry if I don't hold her, so I've been holding her and walking around the house for three hours straight. I'm PMS-ing and there is no chocolate left in my house, and hubby will not be home until midnight tonight so I'm all alone all day with a baby who won't stop crying and if it wouldn't wake her up (she finally fell asleep) I would be screaming in a pillow right now so I'm doing this instead.

Okay. Better now. Maybe I have time to make some cookies…


Postscript: It's now midnight. After I posted this afternoon, Gracie had a 2 hour nap and woke up a different baby. And after she went to bed Mommy had a Smirnoff Ice and some popcorn and she feels MUCH better now. Damn it, I guess Scott Reid was right: we parents do squander our money on beer and popcorn.

Things I didn't know before I got pregnant #274

When I got pregnant, I knew that my body would suffer some irreparable damage. I knew that I would gain weight, acquire a spare tire that would never really go away, and that I would likely lose a large percentage of my hair.

But no one ever told me that one of my boobs would end up bigger than the other. That's right: one of my boobs is bigger than the other. And not just a little bit bigger. Waaaay bigger. I discovered this this morning, trying on my old bras.

You see, I'm fortunate enough to have lost about half of my pregnancy weight, and since I'm no longer breastfeeding, my breasts have returned to close to their original size. Not their original perkiness of course, but size wise, pretty close to normal. So, I hauled out a bunch of my old bras, hoping that perhaps some of the push-up variety I used to wear might make me look a little bit better. I figured that I could probably squeeze back into my good ol' 36C's if I did up the very last hook instead of the first hook that I USED to use…

And that's when I discovered that one of my lovely ladies is bigger than the other. The right side fits quite nicely, thank you very much. But the left side? Refused to stay in the cup. Popped right out every time I tried to stuff it back in.

How does this happen? Will it go back to the right size eventually? How on earth am I ever going to find a bra that fits me, ever, ever again?

Only me. Something like this would only happen to me, I swear.

Bestest Toy Ever!

Sorry I haven't posted much lately. You know how a few weeks ago I wrote about how I was going to re-organize my house and turn myself into a neat freak? Turns out that re-organizing can create a bigger mess than you had in the first place. Nobody told me that part. And, when you are spending all your time re-organizing, it gives you less time for silly things like vacuuming and doing the laundry, which you end up doing at 2 a.m. because it still has to get done. So, writing on my blog (which I would rather be doing than ANY of those aforementioned things) has become a bit of a lower priority.

But I'm almost done. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. My house will be neat and tidy and presentable in no time (or, alternatively, just in time for Gracie to crawl, which looks like could be any minute now).

But I gotta tell you all about this cool thing I bought yesterday, in honor of Gracie's first grocery shopping trip without the infant car seat. She's pretty good at sitting up on her own but is a teeny tiny bit wobbly still, so I needed something to, um, hold her up a bit while I spend and hour and half shopping. (If any of you can get out of the Real Canadian Superstore in under an hour and half, please tell me how).






Anyway, I bought an Infantino shopping cart cover. It has toys on it for her to play with, a little pillow for a head rest, and a handy-dandy strap to put through the back of the shopping cart to hold her up. And she LOVED it. I put her in the shopping cart, strapped her in, then told her: "Look! You're sitting up all by yourself like a big girl!" I tell you, you've never seen a smile so big. She grinned for a half an hour. She looked at EVERYTHING with such intensity, as if she had never seen any of these things before. She played with all the little toys, and when she got tired, the little strap kept her upright and the bone-shaped pillow was the perfect little head-rest.

Try it! I highly recommend it. Now, back to the giant mess…